A poem by Lynda Tavakoli
‘BIGLY’ (A found poem)
So. I think I am more humble than you understand.
Show me someone with no ego and I’ll show you a big loser.
Listen. The beauty of me is that I’m very rich, very rich
and my IQ, well, it’s one of the highest. Come on, you all know it.
People love me. E v e r y b o d y loves me.
Take women – I will be phenomenal to the women.
I mean, I want to help women - those young, beautiful pieces of ass.
I just start kissing them. I don’t even wait.
When you’re a star you can do anything,
grab them by the pussy, anything. I’m not bragging.
I’m just lucky. I don’t need Viagra – I don’t need it.
That woman though, the one with the fat, ugly face,
I understand why her husband left her for a man.
Yeh. When you’re a star you can do anything.
I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody
and wouldn’t lose voters. Guns, no guns, it doesn’t matter.
Still, who couldn’t love Pulp Fiction when the guy gets his gun out
and says, ‘Bitch, be cool!’ I love those lines. Bigly.
Believe me. I’m the least racist person ever.
But why are we having all these people from shithole countries coming here?
They’re sending people that have lots of problems.
They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.
We’re rounding ’em up in a very humane way, in a very nice way,
though not everything is nice you know.
But when you see the other side chopping off heads, well,
waterboarding doesn’t sound very severe. You’ll find out. You’ll see.
So, you stupid morons out there. You ‘fake news’ losers.
Where is the apology for all of the incorrect stories?
Fake news. Fake news. Look, it’s really cold outside
and they’re calling it a major freeze weeks ahead of normal –
Man, we could use a big fat dose of global warming!
Y’know, eventually we’re going to get something done
and it’s going to be really, really good but then again,
if this country gets any kinder or gentler, it’s literally
going to cease to exist. Overseas we build a school.
We build a road. And we can’t get a fucking school in Brooklyn.
Our country is in serious trouble. A lot of trouble. Yuge trouble.
One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace.
Good people don’t go into government. You’ll find out. You’ll see.
From ‘Donald Trump quotes’ Internet.